“Soul Away”

*Note: A very old spoken word piece… it took time, voluntary vulnerability, bravery, and a whole lot of will to be able to release this one. “Soul Away” describes the immense pain and suffering I experienced as a teen after initially being disgnosed with depression and anxiety and hospitalized, as well as the deep pain of my first real break up. I have since recovered from the latter, and strive to live the best life I possibly can whilst overcoming and accepting the diagnosis.*

I remember the day you left me…
I thought that shit would really end me.
The day my soul was snatched away…
The day I decided to fade…

Had suicide up on my mind…
You knew but didn’t give it time.
So I became the faded mime…
While you forgot me all to shine.

The love I gave was real, them hugs and kisses
Called me Mrs., thought I had appeal
You showed me love and gave me life
Just to drain me on the real

You know how long it took to heal?

My mind was gone, my body bruised
And still I held on tight to you
Took comfort in your warm embrace and told myself I’d be ok…

You said you’d never leave
Forever we would be
Watching the sunset, watched the sky melt on a dampening beach
You held my hand, at 16 God gave me the perfect man
You took the pain away,
heartache was drained until the bad thoughts morphed into your face

I harmed… you ran
I stayed… still bland
One si…ded love
More lust… than love
Four years… all tears
Ignored… you snored
You slept… inept
I stayed…I stayed…
And it was my mistake

Sanity, the price I paid, to be with you, I lost my way
My soul, sucked dry, confidence swayed, I’ve never felt so out of space
I lost my mind along the way, my friends they warned me not to stray
Next came my heart, cold stone and fake
The only love left, you would take
And then my body, torn to shreds, by your aggressive “intimates”, I couldn’t breathe
I wasn’t live, but I told everyone the lies…

I’m fine.

You said you’d never leave
Forever we would be
Watching the sunset, watched the sky melt on a dampening beach
You held my hand, at 16 God gave me the perfect man
You took the pain away,
heartache was drained until the bad thoughts morphed into your face


I hit up a white boy, he showed me the way, told me afterwards everything would be ok, I breathed in and breathed out watched the smoke fly away and asked God forgive me if it took me astray.

Four years in the making, my body a shell, you turned around, told me I make your life hell, I broke I cried I relapsed knowing nothing would sell and my mind never recovered until… well…

It didn’t.

You said you’d never leave
Forever we would be
Watching the sunset, watched the sky melt on a dampening beach
You held my hand, at 16 God gave me the perfect man

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